Good Luck Chuck

indeed….good luck, chuck.

Jessica Alba Teaches Ellen DeGeneres How To Walk

Jessica Alba Teaches Ellen DeGeneres How To Walk – Starpulse News Blog
British experts claim Alba has the “perfect walk” after conducting a scientific study based on the ratio between her hips and waist.

Scientific proof!!!  Want some Scott proof?  Here ya go:

Jessica Alba Prefers Game Nights To Parties

Jessica Alba Prefers Game Nights To Parties – Starpulse News Blog
She adds, “We write really embarrassing things on the Jenga pieces, so that everytime someone picks it out, they get to do fun stuff, like put the person to the left of you’s toe in your mouth! We also do this charades-type game and we play Pictionary.”

Jessica, take Scott’s index and middle finger and place them in your…oh, sorry, back to reality. 

Jessica Alba & Poo

Notable Quotables – Starpulse News Blog
“They poo a lot. It’s not the best-smelling job.” Jessica Alba couldn’t imagine becoming a penguin wrangler. She plays one in her new movie Good Luck Chuck.

First of all, just the image of Jessica saying the word “poo” is enough to set the fires afiring. And to that end, may I present you, my dear reader, with this:

Aishwarya Rai: Pretty in ‘Pink Panther 2′

Aishwarya Rai: Pretty in ‘Pink Panther 2′ | Aishwarya Rai, Steve Martin : Just Jared

Okay, first of all, they are making a sequel to this piece of crap that Steve Martin made? Are you serious? It was so much worse than any of the originals and I have still yet to meet one person who actually enjoyed it. Secondly, the worlds second most beautiful woman is co-starring?? This is going to be her big Hollywood major studio debut??  Lunacy. Next thing I’m going to read will be Jessican Alba is having a sex change just so she can have sex with Oprah Winfrey. The world sucks.

Jessica Alba’s Love Rival Comes Forward

Jessica Alba’s Love Rival Comes Forward – Starpulse News Blog
Pretty blonde Vera Mishina tells the publication she spent a night partying with Warren in New York, and then a morning making love to the producer – only to discover she was just “a one-night stand” and her lover was already back with his famous ex.

The 20-year-old Russian passed a “rigorous” lie detector test before the Enquirer ran with her saucy expose, but that hasn’t stopped Warren from threatening to sue.

Cash Warren is an idiot. Seriously. We are talking JESSICA ALBA and you see some Russian chick within days of your breakup? It would take me 3 years, minimum, to try and get Alba back. I’d eat worms. I’d lick the streets of New York. Hell, I’d work for Live Nation. IT’S JESSICA ALBA…..for reference, see this:

Jessica Alba ‘Hasn’t Worked Out In Months’

Jessica Alba ‘Hasn’t Worked Out In Months’ – Jessica Alba : People.com

Scary, huh?  That a body like this could be yours by watching Yogi Bear and drinking water?  What’s that? She said yoga? Oh. That could work.

Alba + Cash = :(

Gandolfini, Sarandon a match in ‘Cigarettes’
Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have been spending a lot of time together lately, sparking talk of a reunion.

grrrrr….

Anyway, she has been shooting most of this week in Toronto, so I need to really think hard about whether this is true or it is the miserly press trying to keep us apart.

Alba is the sexiest female ever..

::: u.tv :::

Some clown came up with a mathematical way to rate a womans hotness level. Blah blah…..but they hit it on the head with the winner: Jessica Alba.  I knew I should have taken math.

Jessica Alba’s ass….

This picture defines hotness with clothing on:

This is gonna be huge….

Justin Timberlake just signed on for The Love Guru, the movie that features the return of Mike Myers and also stars Jessica Alba. Huge, I say. Well, except for Vern Troyer, he is kinda small.  Filming starts in Toronto in September.  Can you imagine the paparazzi here during those few months?!

Damnit!!!

8/22/07 Jessica & Cash Gallery | POPSUGAR – Celebrity Gossip & News.

Seems like Cash & Alba might be back together. This sucks. I’m hoping this is a goodbye meeting and Jess has finally told him about me. It’s only right that he should find out from her.

Jessica Alba The Eye Set

IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com: Jessica Alba The Eye Set

Jessica playing a blind person.  I actually have a chance now!!!  What? It’s just a role?  Oh.

Three get intimate with ‘Guru’

Three get intimate with ‘Guru’

Okay, first I heard Mike Myers asked Alba to be in his next movie. I thought, okay, cool. Then I heard Vern Troyer (Mini-me) was going to be in it. I thought, wow…that is messed up. Imagine the sex scenes? THEN I heard that the movie will be shot right here in Toronto. Which means, of course, 3-4 months of Jessica in my own backyard.

MIKE MYERS FOR PM!!!! MIKE MYERS FOR PM!!!! I love that guy!!! He’s the best!

Alba /// Jeter /// Herpes

L.A. Rag Mag

First of all, ain’t no way my man Jeter has herpes. Second of all, if Jess had sex with Derek, one of them would have told me….and I’d probably be dead.

Jessica Alba Breaks Up With Boyfriend Cash Warren

Exclusive: Jessica Alba Breaks Up With Boyfriend Cash Warren | Usmagazine.com

That’s it…I’m moving to LA for a few weeks to plead my case to Jessica. I know she needs comforting and I know she isn’t interested in anybody good looking, in shape, rich, or smart. I’ve got all those covered.